There’s a fine line between expressing interest and reeking of desperation. It’s so flattering when a guy subtly alludes to being interested yet it’s such a turn off when they over express it or continually push the topic. Us girls love guys who are upfront, and who have the guts to ask us out, but we don’t like it when they over-do it. So how do you ask a girl out without appearing desperate? Regardless of whether you’re approaching someone unknown or invading new territory with an existing friend, there are a few things you should consider.
1. The magic word – once. You approach a girl in a supermarket, at her work, or in a club, and you ask once. If she says no to giving out her number or no to catching up for coffee, it’s all over. You say ‘sorry to bother you’ and you walk away. You do not, I repeat, you do not, beg, plead, or say, “come on just a coffee,” or – my personal favorite – “don’t worry your boyfriend won’t find out.” Shame on you! Walk away mate… walk away.
2. Don’t forget how to talk normally. We all know that crossing over the friend-line to ask for a date is a huge move for any guy. It’s especially hard when a woman doesn’t feel the same, or she’s not in a position to be any more than friends. The trouble with guys who cross over the friend-line is that some of them can never turn back. All of a sudden all he wants to do is remind you of how much he wants to take you out and how much he likes you. There’s no point in talking unless it’s flirting and suddenly the amazingly relaxed and enjoyable friendship you once had is a forgotten dream of the past. Guys, if you cross the friend line and get rejected, jump back behind the line, do not keep walking forward.
3. Can I know your name before this date? Whilst the dating world would not revolve if it weren’t for the men who have the balls to approach random women and ask them out, there is a sort of finesse required to pull this off. For damn certain not many men have mastered this. There’s a right way and a wrong way to approach a women and ask for her number. For me, the biggest turn off is when a guy asks me out without laying any groundwork. Be willing to talk a little before you beg for a date. Make me feel like you want to go on a date with me, not like you want to go on a date with anyone with a vagina.
Assertion and confidence is sexy, desperation is nauseating. Learn the difference.